A few weeks ago, my host mom confronted me with a problem that has been weighing on her heavily: I have lost weight since arriving in Dangbo. This has become a subject of conversation in the village and has prompted some villagers to suggest that my family hasn't been taking good care of me. In the Beninese mind, being heavy is associated with well-being, so losing weight is an indication that my family is not doing a good job. Since the villagers have observed that most of the other Americans have been gaining weight nicely, my weight loss tarnishes my family's reputation.
My host mom has been pleading with me to eat more and has offered to buy me any food I desire. Since she knows I like tapioca, one of my first dinners after our talk was a large quantity of tapioca. For the same reason, I have been given lots of fruit. I have declined to tell them that fruit is not particularly effective for weight gain.
My host mom's general strategy is to feed me more, more, more. I am usually given a quantity of food that would be suitable for two or three people. Every time I clear the table, I have to face my host mom's disappointment over how much I ate. No matter what I eat, it is never enough. My family harps on it so much that I have turned their favorite complaints into an English lesson, teaching my sister to say, "Alexandra doesn't eat well. Alexandra doesn't eat enough. She eats like a baby."
I got in trouble again last night for foiling my family's plans to fatten me up. My family gave me two bananas when I got home at 5, then a full plate of rice and beans for a "snack". I only ate half, earning my host mom's disappointment. At 8, we ate tapioca; my portion was three times the standard serving. The tapioca was followed by another banana and a chapoti. By this point, I was full, but in my family's mind, I hadn't eaten dinner yet. I warned my host sister that I wasn't hungry for dinner, but she pushed me to eat it anyway. I declined, knowing that even if I tried to cram a little extra food in, my family would still be upset that I hadn't eaten more.
And so the battle continues: my host family versus my stomach. While I have been hoping my stomach will win, sometimes I wonder if I should just surrender.
My host mom has been pleading with me to eat more and has offered to buy me any food I desire. Since she knows I like tapioca, one of my first dinners after our talk was a large quantity of tapioca. For the same reason, I have been given lots of fruit. I have declined to tell them that fruit is not particularly effective for weight gain.
My host mom's general strategy is to feed me more, more, more. I am usually given a quantity of food that would be suitable for two or three people. Every time I clear the table, I have to face my host mom's disappointment over how much I ate. No matter what I eat, it is never enough. My family harps on it so much that I have turned their favorite complaints into an English lesson, teaching my sister to say, "Alexandra doesn't eat well. Alexandra doesn't eat enough. She eats like a baby."
I got in trouble again last night for foiling my family's plans to fatten me up. My family gave me two bananas when I got home at 5, then a full plate of rice and beans for a "snack". I only ate half, earning my host mom's disappointment. At 8, we ate tapioca; my portion was three times the standard serving. The tapioca was followed by another banana and a chapoti. By this point, I was full, but in my family's mind, I hadn't eaten dinner yet. I warned my host sister that I wasn't hungry for dinner, but she pushed me to eat it anyway. I declined, knowing that even if I tried to cram a little extra food in, my family would still be upset that I hadn't eaten more.
And so the battle continues: my host family versus my stomach. While I have been hoping my stomach will win, sometimes I wonder if I should just surrender.
You are a great writer!! A " weighty problem" indeed. Soon you will be leaving the family and that shouldn't be an issue any longer. Do you know why you have lost weight? Unfamiliar food, lots of physical labor, homesick,etc. Blacks in this country must also have the same idea. Men like their women chunky. Educating about all the problems with too much weight would be a tough sell and certainly not enough time. Oh, the cultural differences! All the food they are pushing on you does make me chuckle.
ReplyDeleteSince you are leaving soon, this should not be a problem much longer, but will you have the exact same problem in Sonsoro? What does the Peace Corps recommend?
ReplyDeleteI can't explain the weight loss because I was certainly more physically active in the US. The difference between me and the other Peace Corps trainees probably lies in the many extra calories they consume: snacks from home sent by family and friends, liquid calories (some trainees average a few bottles of wine or beer daily), and snacks during breaks from training. Aside from the lunch I buy daily, I generally don't consume any food or drink beyond what my family gives me.
ReplyDeleteMany Beninese, especially in the north, are legitimately underweight because their food consumption doesn't meet their calorie needs (we have women in Sonsoro who lose weight between pre-natal visits). I can understand the association between weight and well-being for those who are underweight, but the Beninese also seem to prefer being overweight to having a healthy weight.
The forced feeding continues. When I got home this afternoon, I was given two oranges right away. Shortly thereafter, I was served a full plate of beans. All of that, of course, was just a snack. Dinner was boiled yams with eggs, tomatoes, and onions. I got my regular lecture about not eating enough and eating like a baby.
I did lose weight in Sonsoro during my visit, but the family I stayed with didn't take offense. When I move to Sonsoro officially next week, I will live on my own, so I won't risk affronting anyone personally. However, my colleagues there have already warned me of their plans to fatten me up. I told them it will be a competition: they will do everything they can to make me gain weight, and I will do everything in my power to stop them. At the end of two years, we'll see who wins.
Enjoyed this post very much because 3 of the 5 people at work are trying to loose weight. Yams, tomatoes, and onions sounds good to this plant eater. -Karen
ReplyDeleteI'm finding it's pretty easy to be vegetarian up north because there is so little meat available and many (most?) people can't afford it. There aren't many fruits and veggies up here, though, so I'm not sure how much you'd like it!
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